Filler Post

My reader has been clamoring for a new post.  Yes, I only have one reader.  I can see how many times my posts have been viewed.  I'm thinking about starting a new blog.  One that has more of a theme, i.e. ranting about books/movies/TV shows and generally being a pretentious hipster.

Am I still a hipster if I admit I am one?  Because I do like some things just because they are obscure.  Granted, you need a critical mass of fandom for it to be fun, but things that everyone likes just aren't the same.  So yeah, I'm a tea-drinking, Mumford and Sons (they're actually on the radio) Frank Turner listening, Galen Beckett reading (I liked him better when he was publishing under Mark Anthony, though I get why he went to a pseudonym), German speaking hipster.

That wasn't what I was going to post about.

Well, it was, I think.  One of the things.  Summer is a time of idleness and reflection, a time of setting goals you never achieve, but at least you have enough time to do them if you wanted to.  Usually.

This summer I am taking two summer classes.  One is an online class about language development and its for my minor.  The other is an upper-level queer theory class that involves two weeks in San Francisco and making a documentary film.  And lots and lots of angry readings about the heteropatriarchy.

(My reader knows this already, but since it's on the internet I feel like I have to make this coherent to the general public.)

This summer I am also living off-campus, on my own (i.e. not under adult supervision, because I am an adult, or so I've been told). 

This summer I need to start seriously looking in to grad school applications.  It's not just a distant dream to get me through a depressed phase - it's my actual future that I hold in my own hands, and I'm terrified I might drop it.

This summer I hope to start an etsy shop and sell crocheted My Little Ponies (no, seriously, those things go for $20-$40, and you know what?  Yarn is cheap) in lieu of getting a real job.

See, my original goal for this summer was to get a real job and my driver's license.  Then San Francisco happened, and I put growing up on hold.

So maybe this post is about growing up, and how it's not happening, only it is happening.  I'm not reaching milestones, but I'm learning more about myself - not changing, but becoming more who I am (coughhipstercough yeah, what of it?it's true).  I'm a hipster.  I'm a brony (that's for another post).  I'm queer not a lesbian, and I don't give a damn about dismantling the heteropatriarchy, I'm going to change the world in my own small way by writing books.  If I ever finish the damn things.  At least I'm writing again.

I stopped writing.  And then I started again.  And then I stopped.  It's like when I used to get depressed (used to?) - so depressed that I felt like I would never be happy again.  I went through so many cycles, eventually I realized that I would always feel happy again.  And I would always feel sad again.  And maybe that was the first step in my growing up and leaving behind the adolescent woes, because once I stopped fearing my depression it had less power over me.  Until extenuating circumstances, but even that passed.

I'm going to stop before this gets any more rambly.

So, my dear reader, I hope this was enough to break the monotony of your North Dakota wasteland for a little while, and I will be sure to keep you posted on my future activities in the blogosphere.