It is difficult to be a foreigner. If I have gained one useful thing from this whole experience, I will at least have a better understanding of non-native English speakers in America.
I am one of those people for whom looking stupid is one of the worst fates in the world. I am terribly self-conscious about my speaking when I am around real Germans. I know I screw up just about every ending, and that my vocabulary is not that great, and don't get me started on my accent. However, I take offense when people assume that because I am from America, I am at a certain level of German. That is to say, not able to pass the DSH 2 exam that allows me to study like a regular student at a German university. Which I have. Yes, I'm bragging; I think I deserve it.
I can write very well in German. I also read German books. The problem is, that doesn't show when you talk. People only judge your language proficiency by speech. Worse, mental capacity is often judged based on oratorial proficiency. So for instance, if you attempt to make a joke/pun/play on words/clever converstaion piece that worked last week, you might end up with a German kindly explaining a grammar rule to you.
I do not need the Germans to explain their language to me, considering that I am the one who has made a study of the grammar and rules and probably know the mechanics better than most native speakers. I need experience. I need to decipher the Hessian accent, and function in the back-and-forth of normal conversation. I need to get the courage to make mistakes in front of native speakers, and the reassurance that at least I am understood. If I need something explained, I will ask - and please explain in German. Do not immediately grope after the English translation. I am not some kind of linguistic invalid that needs to be coddled.
The point is: When confronted by a non-native speaker of your native language, handle yourself thus:
1) Ignore mistakes, unless you really cannot understand.
2) If I ask you what you mean, repeat what you said just a little bit slower and clearer. There are some things the classroom does not prepare one for. Like regional accents and normal conversation.
3) If I want a word clarified, look for synonyms or explanations in your language. Don't fall back on translation.
4) Assume that I know all the grammar theory already.
5) Tell me I speak well, or have a good accent, or something. Even if it's a lie. I like the reassurance. And I'm not going to believe you, even if you are telling the truth, so you may as well lie.
6) Do not patronize. I can think, you know. In fact, many people consider me smart. If you get over the fact that I am a non-native speaker and actually got to know me, you would find out that I have a whole lifetime of experiences, some of which might even be interesting. A foreigner is not a tabula rasa.
7) And remember: My English is better than yours.
Because I am handling a language that is not native to me, I lack the shading and inflection that comes naturally to you. That does not mean I lack emotion or opinion. Because I have a hard time expressing myself, that does not mean that there is nothing going on inside me. Seriously people - don't judge. This is a case of putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Personally, I think everyone needs to experience being a stupid foreigner (being a tourist doesn't count; you're already stupid) at least once in their life.
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