The German Cult

Those who have ever taken a German class will know exactly what I am talking about.  For those who haven't, I will do my best to explain. 

People who study German are a minority.  Therefore, every time you get a large group of them together, there is an instant bond.  It doesn't matter if you have anything in common outside of German, or if you have entirely conflicting personalities.  There's still a sense of recognition, and a basic respect.

A German class will invariably come up with its own inside jokes.  "Gebiesten," happened in my high school (I have the T-shirt to prove it), "Deutsches L" is a big one at my college, and "...oder?" seems to be the Steven's Point catchphrase. 

Now here's what sucks about the study abroad program:

The students in my class come from all over the world:  Taiwan, Cameroon, Saudi Arabia, China, Sri Lanka, just to name a few.  They are here in this language course in order to take this monster of a test (The DSH - Imagine the ACT/SAT in German without bubbles.  I miss bubbles.) that they need in order to study at a German university - presumably to get a better education than they could in there homeland.  The Americans, on the other hand, are in the language course because that is where our program puts us.  We are here in Germany for fun, to experience German culture, and because we have sold our souls to ther German language.  The other foreigners are merely selling their bodies and minds, and don't understand why we would learn this ridiculous language just for fun.  Therefore, we are not meshing into a true German cult, and that saddens me.

It is true that learning German is difficult, but so is learning any other language.  In fact, for native English-speakers, German is one of the easier languages to learn, being part of the same family.  The myth that Spanish is easy is quickly dispelled by the multitude of irregular verb stems, some of which barely resemble the original verb. 

It is also a commonly held opinion that German sounds ugly.  Personally, I think it's sexy.  No, really. It has a deeper tone and a soothing rhythm, compared to English.  Spanish, Italian, French, just sound shrill and agitated.  Although in my class, the woman from Hungary would get my vote for the coolest accent.  It just sounds so sweet and musical.

For me, German is also a way to get in touch with my roots - I'm half German, as I may have mentioned.  Many Midwesterners have German heritage, and it is not uncommon to meet ones who try to show off and say "I took two years of German in high school - but I don't remember any of it except Guten Tag and Scheisse."  These are the ones who managed to escape the German cult before they signed their souls away - or rather, the souls who were not strong enough to make it all the way to the end.  Or, you know, decided on a more practical path of study.

It is true that German is not a highly marketable skill.  Yes, Germany is important in the business world, but most Germans speak English and have been learning it since grade school, which makes an American trying to learn German in college almost redundant.  Almost all of the German cultists have a second "career" major, German fulfilling the university's ridiculous requirement of needing more than one field of study, or simply for pure enjoyment.  That is another thing that sets us apart from the students of Spanish or Chinese or Computer Programming.  We are not suffering through this in order to make a lot of money further down the road. We are here by choice, because to some degree, all of us have fallen in love with the German language.

And that is what sets us apart from the rest of the class.

Please note that I am using the word "cult" in a humorous and/or metaphorical sense.  We do not sacrifice kittens at midnight.  Though we are secretly plotting world domination.

That was also a joke.  It wouldn't be a secret if I told.